Ok, so I had to go to Hyderabad ( This article comes to you from there by the way ) for some higher education stuff. My credit cards were cancelled ( or barred, whatever u call not paying the 40 grand I owed them ) and the new ones were just on their way. So anyway, kind dad was ready to shell for my air tickets from Bangalore to Hyderabad and back. He books me both ways on Spice Jet ( it’s a no frills flight ). He got a ‘great’ deal and was really happy about it.
“Great” turned out to be 2:45 Am on a cold winter night, or really really early in the morning if you prefer. There are many problems that can rise from traveling on such early flights.
1. No auto’s / cabs are willing to take you.
2. Everybody ( read as ‘mom’ ) who’s supposed to do your packing is already asleep.
3. There is no pick up at the destination.
4. Granny sleeps at night.
Since no one was ready to take me to the airport, I consulted dad’s help yet again.
His solution pretty simple, take the car, go to the airport.
Now, why didn’t I think of that? Only problem is they charge like 50 Rs per hour and 200 if the car’s parked overnight. So for a three day trip, any reason of buying those ‘cheap’ tickets is nullified.
Now that the option was withdrawn, alternative ways to reach the airport were being put forth on the table, by me and well wishers ( read ‘my sis’ ) who didn’t want to take me there themselves.
One point I strongly considered was taking the car to my friends house ( you know him as oxymoron, I don’t use the oxy bit ), and then walking to the airport which is a short 10 min walk from there ( or a really long 15 min walk if you carrying luggage and you are as lazy as me). Oxymoron offered to drop me at the airport in my car, but apparently he can’t park or drive. Later he offered to walk with me to the airport (initially I thought he was being really sweet, then I remembered the air hostesses), anyway he had an early morning picnic to attend so he couldn’t come either way.
As luck would have it, I found a taxi who was willing to take me to the airport, and the best part is, I didn’t have to sell any body parts so I could afford getting there. Thing about me is that luck doesn’t seem to stay with me for long. 1Am (1.45 min left for flight take off) taxi dude was lost, simple directions like come here, take the first left then right failed. So he parked his cab a few km’s from my house and I had to drive and fetch him.
Reached the airport in the nick of time (actually I reached quite comfortably, but if dad asks, I got there just before take off ).
Flight? Well bus on wheels should be more appropriate. After a turbulent flight without food I got to Hyderabad.
With my good luck charms back in Bangalore, I found that the pre-paid auto counter guy was sleeping, seeing his size I quickly judged that waking him up wasn’t a safe option. The only auto willing to come to my place said 'meter charges * 1.5' , sounded fair enough especially that early so I got on. The meter as I later found out was running (as my aunt put it ) “way too fast”.
In conclusion here’s the equation –
Total Money saved by dad because of the ‘great’ deal < Cab fare from Bangalore home to airport + Hyderabad airport to Granny’s place.
And if you think that is bad, imagine I still have to get back tomorrow night ( or day after really early in the morning if you prefer ).
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
So, you know the latest fad doing the rounds here is Orkut. He asked me a rather confidential question.
What have I learnt from my previous relationships?
I pondered upon it for a while… don't you learn only from your mistakes.. is he implying that it was a mistake. It was, I thoroughly agree. But does he have to publicly proclaim the same fact. Anyhow, since boring history is learnt so as to prevent it from repeating itself, I guess my teachings or leanings if you prefer can be put into better use if I spread the word. Since there are so many "learnings", I will just list the top 10. I guess that should take you through your next learning process ( aka relationship ).
So what are the Top 10 things I learnt from my pastmistakes relationships?
10. Guys don't get pregnant.
9. Especially not by holding hands.
8. If you forget a birthday or an anniversary and u are confronted with the fact, appropriate answers don't include the following
a) Big deal.
b) It is ??
c) Kidding me right?
d) Its been that long?
e) Ok, if you say so.
f) Does that mean I have to take you out?
g) Where's my gift?
h) Ok.
i) Oh, I knew it all along, I was just waiting to see if you remember.
-Doesn't work when it's their birthday.
- Especially not twice in a row.
- And never if they reminded you a few moments back.
j) That explains why you were hugging everyone else.
k) Can I borrow some money?
l) My reminders didn't go off.
m) Is it April Fools day again?
n) Stop bugging me.
o) Whatever you do, don't yawn.
p) Ok so you yawned, never follow it up with, I am so sleepy.
7. Comments to this disapproving observation " will you look at what she's wearing " do not necessarily include the following –
a) Wow.
b) Wow. ( with mouth open and tongue out )
c) Oh mama.
d) Don't you have a similar dress?
5. If you use terms like 'honey' , 'baby' , 'doll' , 'sweetheart' , 'sweety' , 'cutie' etc all the time, you might forget the actual name.
- You might want to avoid using the wrong names too.
4. If you are introducing them to your friends, appropriate 'introduction' lines shouldn't include –
a) This is the one I was taking about.
b) Hey remember, I told u about the new one?
c) This is so-n-so. I know I could have done better but..
d) Hey, this is… If you think this is bad, you should wait till it's bright.
3. If you are going to 'the better half's' place for the 'first' time, at least as far as the opponents parents are concerned, knowing the way around the house especially the exact route to the bedrooms isn't necessarily a good sign*.
*So whatever u do, if the mom is looking for a something you saw the last time you were there, do not, I repeat DO NOT volunteer to bring it for her.
2. Buy your own birth control. Don't use the hosts' parent's available methods( if you know what I mean ).. Also the round tablet with the label Aspirin on it, is indeed aspirin. It doesn't double up as anything else under any circumstances.
1. Pay attention to detail. Don't miss out on points.. Especially not the 6th one. That one was the best.
What have I learnt from my previous relationships?
I pondered upon it for a while… don't you learn only from your mistakes.. is he implying that it was a mistake. It was, I thoroughly agree. But does he have to publicly proclaim the same fact. Anyhow, since boring history is learnt so as to prevent it from repeating itself, I guess my teachings or leanings if you prefer can be put into better use if I spread the word. Since there are so many "learnings", I will just list the top 10. I guess that should take you through your next learning process ( aka relationship ).
So what are the Top 10 things I learnt from my past
10. Guys don't get pregnant.
9. Especially not by holding hands.
8. If you forget a birthday or an anniversary and u are confronted with the fact, appropriate answers don't include the following
a) Big deal.
b) It is ??
c) Kidding me right?
d) Its been that long?
e) Ok, if you say so.
f) Does that mean I have to take you out?
g) Where's my gift?
h) Ok.
i) Oh, I knew it all along, I was just waiting to see if you remember.
-Doesn't work when it's their birthday.
- Especially not twice in a row.
- And never if they reminded you a few moments back.
j) That explains why you were hugging everyone else.
k) Can I borrow some money?
l) My reminders didn't go off.
m) Is it April Fools day again?
n) Stop bugging me.
o) Whatever you do, don't yawn.
p) Ok so you yawned, never follow it up with, I am so sleepy.
7. Comments to this disapproving observation " will you look at what she's wearing " do not necessarily include the following –
a) Wow.
b) Wow. ( with mouth open and tongue out )
c) Oh mama.
d) Don't you have a similar dress?
5. If you use terms like 'honey' , 'baby' , 'doll' , 'sweetheart' , 'sweety' , 'cutie' etc all the time, you might forget the actual name.
- You might want to avoid using the wrong names too.
4. If you are introducing them to your friends, appropriate 'introduction' lines shouldn't include –
a) This is the one I was taking about.
b) Hey remember, I told u about the new one?
c) This is so-n-so. I know I could have done better but..
d) Hey, this is… If you think this is bad, you should wait till it's bright.
3. If you are going to 'the better half's' place for the 'first' time, at least as far as the opponents parents are concerned, knowing the way around the house especially the exact route to the bedrooms isn't necessarily a good sign*.
*So whatever u do, if the mom is looking for a something you saw the last time you were there, do not, I repeat DO NOT volunteer to bring it for her.
2. Buy your own birth control. Don't use the hosts' parent's available methods( if you know what I mean ).. Also the round tablet with the label Aspirin on it, is indeed aspirin. It doesn't double up as anything else under any circumstances.
1. Pay attention to detail. Don't miss out on points.. Especially not the 6th one. That one was the best.
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Saturday, November 04, 2006
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