Having come all the way to this far off land, having spent all of the money parents hoped to spend after retirement feeding the greedy funding-less professors and having wasted enough time in the lab doing research work for some moron who wouldn't add my name to the paper he is publishing based on my work I felt it was time to give some back to the society. And the easiest target was the Teaching Assistant of my Programming course.
These guys get paid like 12$ an hour, how would I know? I quit as a T.A before. Anyhow, if they were getting 12$ to grade my assignment, I sure as hell am not going to make it easy for them.
So I present to the world wide audience ( or the 2 people who actually read my webpage ) ,
Top Ten Ways To Really Piss Off Your Teaching Assistant.
10 . Write your code, then delete all enters and non required white spaces. Send the entire assignment in 1 huge line.
9. Write proper comments, in fact copy paste 90% of the man page( it's the help page ) of the function into the comments for each and every function you write. In fact write comments for braces, whitespaces and so on. Make sure you include the following comments as well.
\\ This is the start of the assignment, I am almost ready to write code. So here I go.
\\ This is the end of my program, and this is the last word I would type. Damn.
8. Write functions for every operation. And make sure you put them in a different file and include them in your main file. A simple program should consist of at least 50 submitted files each with their own .c .h and readme.txt files.
7. On graphical assignments, print screen the windows blue screen of death and make that appear every time the TA runs your program correcting and running properly after a few seconds ( you don't want to get Zero do you ). Extra fun/points if you assignments are Linux based.
6. Declare really really really really really really long variable and function names.
5. If your assignment is due at 11:59 Pm, then send it at 11:58 Pm and bombard the TA's mailbox with 70 mails saying, and I quote "Did ya get it". Keep repeating this and other mails like "I am wondering if you got my previous mails" or "since I haven't heard from you, I am assuming that you haven't gotten my mail, so find it attached".
4. Send print copies of code with no indentation and no supporting binaries, and if executables are compulsory make sure you burn them on a blue ray disk or 3inch floppy disks.
3. On text assignments, quote famous people in the IT industry as, "Steve Jobs defines Fork function call as the following.." or "Gates considers multithreading better than multi processes because". Go one up by quoting them from movies and incidences involving them.
2. Check online for various courses you have already taken in your undergrad, go sit in few of those classes, just send the TA a completed assignment without you being officially part of the class.
1. This is how you should go about writing your assignment, write a batch file which will create a shell script which will run a perl script which generates a c file which depending on your mood could be the program required by the assignment or if you are feeling evil could generate another shell script which generates a perl script……
