Sitting at home in the summer, having cold coffee, starting at the hot sun from inside your air conditioned bedroom, bunking work and pitying your colleagues who are suffering at a stupid meeting which was scheduled for around this time sure beats being at work attending a stupid meeting with the ‘moron’ ( you should know him well by now ). But the problem being, I am not sitting at home, I am sleeping on my bed. I aint having cold coffee, but cough syrup instead, I don’t have air conditioning at home, and there aint any meeting planned for today!
Well just when you think the day couldn’t get ‘better’ you are reminded of the fact that you need to go study for an all important exam which encourages you to learn such words like “soliloquy” which is apparently pronounced as soh-lilo-quee and the meaning being something someone speaks to himself/herself in a drama. Now I don’t know about you, but I kinda survived my entire life (so far) of slightly over two decades without using words that end with the sound ‘quee’ , especially when you say the word with a pronunciation that ends with an exclamation. Queee!! .Ttrust me I have known mental patients that say stuff like that. Ok ok I don’t ‘know’ mental patients so to speak, but I surely know people who come darn close. And they don’t use words in the likes of quee..
Come on try it once, say ‘quee’ and end with a slight grin, come on, no one is watching.
See? Don’t you feel retarded?
Yeah I know what you are thinking, “you did it to retard..” well, at least I have heavy medication to blame, and it surely doesn’t help if u swallowed your nasal drops. Why cant people in the medical fraternity make medicines that taste a tad bit better.
Also with the advent of technology ( which in this article is limited to Microsoft word ) I wonder why people deem it necessary for me to increase my vocabulary which till now was limited to 5 characters or less words. I mean haven’t people heard of thesaurus?
For folks who haven’t watched the episode in friends where joey uses it to write a letter, let me demonstrate how simple it is.
Lets take a simple line from the above paragraphs,
“…bunking work and pitying your colleagues who are suffering at a stupid meeting which was scheduled for around this time sure beats being at work attending a stupid meeting with the…”
look how technology ( again, limited to Microsoft word ) can make me sound so much (more) intellectually superior than retards using Notepad.
“Missing employment along with the sorry feeling for your contemporaries who are distressed at an unintelligent conference which was programmed for approximately this instance no doubt beats being at work attending a dull summit with…”
That my friend is technology.
Ok, back to the main point, (whatever that was) no good can come off of reading 3000 words that one never gets to use in real life? I mean, which one of you have friends that go (on being asked how their day was) like “ It was breathtakingly astounding, I received a panegyric from my manager for my stupendous performance last month”.
This is how a basic conversation between me and my friends goes –
Me – Sup?
F1 – NM, U?
Me – Nm either.
For smarties who know the meaning of panegyric, ‘NM’ is the short for ‘nothing much’. And ‘sup’ is a fast way of saying ‘what’s up’.
I would embellish the various shades of meanings of panegyric for the readers, but I don’t see how it would help them in anyway. So I will refrain myself from doing so.
Well I guess they don’t read blog posts and won’t change the exam pattern, so I guess I better get back to studying long words which make me seem smarter, the only problem is I read about 50 odd words just an hour back, can’t seem to recollect any one of them.
Just realized ‘moron’ is on leave for the whole week. Damn! waste of a leave.. but I guess you gotta hand it to the ‘moron’, if it weren’t for people like him.. nobody else would have an above average IQ.
G.W certifies that no paragraphs apart from the one mentioned have been through the thesaurus process, and as such G.W or any affiliating members cannot be held responsible for the increase in vocabulary after reading the above mentioned article. G.W also would like to call you a stupid idiot to check if people actually read fine prints.
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