I cheat. I was born that way, and I don't think there is any game that I cannot cheat in. It doesn't matter whether I am winning or losing, nor does it matter who I am playing against. Cheating is an art, it's skillful. After every game I do tell my opponents what I did and the look of amazement on their faces is my victory.
And no, I am not your average cheater, I set the bar high. Real high. For instance, if anyone had to cheat in a game of Pictionary what would they do? Common folk tend to whisper the answers to their teammates when no one is looking, or make some hand gestures to support their drawing. Not me. I take it two levels up.
Imaging this, I pick up a card, it's a very difficult word and you think neither can I draw it, nor can my team guess it. I start drawing some nonsense on the sheet and in 15 seconds flat my teammate has the answer. No words were spoken as you were keeping a strict eye on me and my mouth. So how exactly did I do it? Stay tuned…
Here's a few simple techniques to cheat at most games.
Most games have a sand clock to keep the time, well, after extensive research on the subject, I have concluded that keeping the sand clock on a flat surface will maximize the rate of flow, thereby giving the opponent the least time. Shaking, rotating and other movements will give them added time. So G.W how exactly do I cheat with the sand clock. Simple, before half the sand has fallen just rotate the sand clock. Thereby making time elapsed the new time left, hence robbing your opponents of valuable time.
The next technique requires an equally skilled cheater teammate. You need prior preparation, if you can't find a skilled cheater, then marry someone and train them properly. Marriage in this is important as you don't want your skills to go to the opponent team. Very rarely will your friends make you and your wife in different teams. All you need is code language for common things, for alphabets you can cough. For numbers you can sneeze. Once you coughed, a series of actions can determine the code word. Blinking (number of blinks), hand movements, times when you look up, look down etc etc can all mean something. You and your partner need to remember this. My code is this, cough-lookup-blinks gives alphabet in order. And cough-lookdown-blinks give alphabets in reverse order.
Now, if it's a game where you cannot talk, or a game where you cannot say particular words and there is no way you can complete it legally, cough, look up and do your thing. Though this technique was not developed for board games and was originally meant for mathematics and physics exams, but well we all adapt.
If there is a huge group playing a game and they have to guess something, and there's a lot of noise(due to random guessing by everyone). To win, simply announce(loudly) that [insert name here] said [insert word to be guessed] which is the correct word. 98% (not a made up figure) of the time [inserted name from above] will never confess that he did not say [that word]. For the 2% of the time, don't invite [inserted name] again. If [inserted name] is the host, make sure you are in the opposite team.
Trying to move your pieces in front in any board game is simple. But it is also the stupidest thing you can ever do. Opponents keep track of your progress like baby kangaroos on ice cream (Hey! I am a science major. Analogies aren't my thing). But what no one will argue with is you moving back a step or two. So if moving back can help you become a doctor in the game of life, and earn you children every time you pass the mating line. So be it. Not to mention finishing snake and ladders in 10 dice throws flat(didn't I mention I was a born cheater?).
I have never solved a Rubik's cube in my life. Not the way it was intended to be anyway. Though there are algorithms and tricks to solve it quick. I find my way to be the best. Break it apart and put it piece by piece in place.
There are so many tricks to cheat in card games that I can't do justice to them all by mentioning only a few here. But since I am not playing with you guys, I'll tell you what you should all be capable of. Pattern shuffling, Card deck memorization, Illegal dealings and so on.
Letting your opponents win: If you are so good at cheating that you can never lose, then no one would like to play with you. This is not good. So let others win too..
The best cheaters often have many tricks up their sleeves. A friend of mine was so good that he used to get scrabble alphabets from home and had them stored in his many pockets. Vowels in the left, high point letters in the right. Identifying such people is tricky, unless you start noticing two 'Z's and two 'X's on the board. Once you realize it, work hard to keep such people on your team. If that doesn't work, insist a strip search before playing. Hey what's a little nudity between friends?
But this is for amateurs; pro's like me use their strengths to better my game. For instance, once this certain someone was found keeping high point letters in his shirt pocket, all I needed to do was aim and drop a duplicate 'i' (don't you hate when you have 3-4 of them with you) into his shirt pocket and insist you threw a 'z' to keep him from [insert action here]. There's no way anyone will confess having additional alphabets, so the Z is all yours. Just in time for 'JAZY'.
As far as how I guessed the word, well, if you studied in a class where talking/texting was not permitted, then all you had was your cell in your pocket, communicating with the outside world with text messages typed with one hand while looking at the teacher..
